“Things just get so crazy, living life gets hard to do;  Sunday morning rain is falling and I’m calling out to you.”

About a year ago, I would have loved that Maroon 5 lyric– it described my excitement as a St. Louis Rams fan every Sunday. Despite the 7- 9 seasons, the horrible draft nights and the lack of a starting quarterback, there was still a small corner of my heart that believed a successful St. Louis Rams season was still plausible, and in fact, very attainable.

Well, not any more. After the sudden and inexplicable move to Los Angeles, Stan Kroenke and his cash-laden Walton wife can kiss my support goodbye. So here’s a list of eight things I would rather do than watch my former favorite football team on Sunday:

1. Leaping headfirst into a fast-food Dumpster. Sure, I’ll get hepatitis, but it’s still better than watching Case Keenum throw his fourth interception of the day.
2. Eating a turnover. Specifically, one of the many the Rams committed on Sunday.
3. Announcing my candidacy for the President of the United States. Though it wouldn’t be well received, neither are any of the Rams’ passes.
4. Conversing with my greatest enemy– and I thought about this one a lot.
5. Studying for a test. Clearly, I do not want to be the next Isaiah Pead.
6. Delivering pizzas. At least someone will be delivering on Sunday.
7. Running a marathon… on hot coals… Backwards.
8. Listening to every Justin Bieber album ever. All 11 of them.