Forget the pumpkin patch – apple picking is the only way to celebrate the new season. Pumpkins may be cooler to carve or to keep on your porch, but apples take the crown for the perfect fall treat.

Not only that, the only interesting activity involving pumpkins is to carve a mediocre art piece or make a halfway decent pie (let’s be honest, most people don’t bother). Maybe the patch will have a funky pumpkin, but that’s as exciting as it gets. Carving pumpkins is just a complete hassle. Most of the time, they end up rotting and attracting bugs until Thanksgiving. Otherwise, pumpkins are just large, edible decorations that rot on your porch.

Additionally, apples have an unbeatable amount of variety, making the apple picking experience unique, without sacrificing the tastiness. Apple orchards are nature’s candy store. The apple orchards have it all – from tart Granny Smith to sweet Honeycrisp apples. Pumpkins, on the other hand, are just big orange spheres. With such a wide range of uses, apples are the flavor buffet of autumn. From the soft, caramelized taste of an apple pie or the crispy, tart taste of a caramel apple, the all-encompassing apple flavor is a blessing for your taste buds.

Pumpkins are far superior to apples. Pumpkins have character. Spherical or oblong, smooth or wart-ridden, orange or white, no two pumpkins are the same. On the other hand, all apples are practically identical. Wow, another red sphere. How original. The rows of apple trees in an orchard are an eyesore. Talk about a monoculture.

Pumpkins come with endless possibilities. They can be carved into scary monsters or donned with silly faces. If a particularly lopsided pumpkin is not suitable for carving, no worries. Pumpkins make perfect living decor, ready to be composted at the end of autumn.

What do apples bring to the table? Disappointment. Biting into a soft, bruised apple can ruin an entire meal, even an entire day. In addition to the false advertising regarding their taste, apples also promise to keep the doctor away. I begrudgingly eat apples every day, yet my doctor still wants to see me every year. It’s absolutely ridiculous.

Picking pumpkins is an exciting endeavor and the pumpkins picked can serve as carved decorations or living indoor decor. Apples can do neither. The countless options for pumpkin appearance and purpose make pumpkin picking the perfect autumn excursion.