When the NFL and the Players’ Union finally reached a settlement to end the NFL lockout, millions of football fans breathed a sigh a relief. Not necessarily because the NFL would resume game play, but due to the fact that yes, fantasy football was back. Fantasy football is one of the greatest bragging rights that any fan can own. Common people may perceive fantasy football owners to be a bit irrational for printing out a Yahoo Champion Certificate from 2008 and framing it above their fireplaces, but to fantasy owners all around, this bears more significance than hoisting up the Vince Lombardi Trophy. Yes people, fantasy football is that important and these three tips are here to help you succeed.
Tip 1: Great Names = Great Success
You can always judge the quality of your opponent based off their team name. The great fantasy football owners employ witty names that usually involve making a joke or pun about a NFL team or player. Examples could be “ A Favre Dollar Foot long” or “Silence of the Rams” which incorporates a nice blend of NFL pronouns and pop culture. When you have a great team name like these, you immediately strike fear into your opponent and make them think, “Gosh this guy’s a pro.” In contrast, if your team name is something boring such as “ The Destroyers,” your opponent is already looking at next week’s match up.
Tip 2: Pick Jailbirds
I don’t know what these jails are doing nowadays, but it seems to be working. If you see a guy coming fresh out of the joint on your draft board, go for broke and grab him. Take the jailbird from last year, Michael Vick. Coming off of a couple years in jail, Vick tore it up with the Philadelphia Eagles and was a fantasy owner’s dream come true. He single-handedly put the aspirations of many fantasy teams on his back. This year’s jailbird, Plaxico Burress, seems poised for big things as well as he snagged three catches along with a touchdown in his first preseason game. Put your morals aside and pick the ex-convicts.
Tip 3: Take it too seriously!
This tip is by far the most important. Remember, fantasy football isn’t just about the money even though an extra 110 bucks in the pocket can’t hurt. It’s about bragging rights. You want to be able to hold this momentous achievement above your friends heads’ until the next season. In order to do this however, you gotta go the extra mile. This means waking up at the crack of dawn to grab the top free agents before anyone else is even thinking about it. This means doing your research on which player might have a breakout game and save your team. It’s all about getting the W and remember, as race car driver Ricky Bobby once said, “If your not first, your last.” #
