Batman (2022) Worth The Three Hours?
March 25, 2022
There is a reason why people line up in theaters to watch a new superhero movie regardless of if they’re well versed in the lore of the universe: they’re just iconic. Much like No Way Home which came out a few months ago, DC has brought forth a new movie that may or may not change the tide of the decades-long DC vs. Marvel debate. My stance? I don’t care as long as I’m entertained. Batman definitely accomplished that task, but the question remains… is it worth three hours (yes, three hours!!!) of your life? That answer is up to you, but before you make your decision here are a few key factors to keep in mind.
Robert Pattinson and Zoe Kravitz
Do I even need to say anything? They are definitely the reason I entered that movie theater in the first place as well as the reason I missed half of the plot. I felt like a teenage girl in a high school movie: blushing, giggling, kicking my feet back and forth while twirling my hair. It wasn’t all fun and games, however. Half of Robert Pattinson’s face was covered for the majority of the movie and instead of his costume making him look cool and mysterious, it just made him look like he cleared the racks at Hot Topic. Not to mention, there was only one shirtless scene with him, and despite it being the most exciting twenty seconds of the movie, it was simply not enough. Zoe Kravitz as Catwoman was literally the best casting choice I’ve ever seen in my life. Unlike Batman, even with a mask on she looked absolutely amazing and had me trying not to drool every time she came on screen.
The Riddler has got to be the most comical villain ever made. He’s a bad guy whose whole shtick is… asking riddles? Sure he had more to it than that, but his whole thing was asking riddles! I mean that by itself is incredibly hilarious, but he’s also a frequent poster to social media, making him the most successful criminal mastermind/influencer in all of Gotham City. At the end of the day, he was just a silly man who had a crush on a Batman, who can’t relate? While I mentioned I had no stance on the DC vs. Marvel debate, I’ve got to say that DC wins in the villain category any day.
Did anyone know the plot?
Maybe I’m extremely stupid or maybe I was too distracted by Zoe Kravitz to process anything else, but I did not retain a single plot point from that entire movie. It probably also had a little to do with the fact that none of the characters, notably Batman himself, knew how to talk normally without mysteriously mumbling all the time. Also, I get Batman is nocturnal or whatever, but did EVERY scene have to be during the night? It was a riddle in itself, trying to decipher what was happening on screen. It didn’t matter though, because I had FUN! Selina Kyle being played by Zoe Kravitz definitely helped though.